


all we are

by aeriamamaduck



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Twins, Anxiety, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Katsuki Yuuri, Brother-Sister Relationships, Coming Out, Crushes, Developing Relationship, F/F, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One-Sided Attraction, Platonic Relationships, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 00:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12544256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: Yuuri is twelve when he sees Victor Nikiforov for the first time on television, long-haired and fey at sixteen, the most beautiful sight that he's ever seen.He's still entranced, watching the end of the routine when the camera cuts to someone else. At first Yuuri frowns in confusion, wondering why the skater he'd just watched was suddenly cheering on the stands like a spectator.The commentators name her Victoria Nikiforova, Victor's twin.





	all we are

**Author's Note:**

> So it started snowing this morning and I asked myself, "hey what it Victor had a twin sister and she had a Big Ol' Crush on Mari?"
> 
> I got home and started writing. Enjoy this hot mess.

Yuuri is twelve when he sees Victor Nikiforov for the first time on television, long-haired and fey at sixteen, the most beautiful sight that he's ever seen.

 

He's still entranced, watching the end of the routine when the camera cuts to someone else. At first Yuuri frowns in confusion, wondering why the skater he'd just watched was suddenly cheering on the stands like a spectator. 

 

The commentators name her Victoria Nikiforova, Victor's twin. Later on they're posing together for the camera, smiling brilliantly in their identical silver ponytails, almost indistinguishable when they're wearing their Team Russia jackets. Equally adorable when they stand on either side of their grumpy coach and press kisses to his cheeks, each with one leg bent up in the air.

 

Yuuri can't stop looking at them after that, and he can't keep his feet from the ice.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor is older than Victoria by thirteen minutes, Yuuri learns. Those minutes make little difference, though, when it comes to telling them apart. They're determinedly androgynous, and there are more than a few people that jokingly suspect that they take each other's places in competition (their coach puts a firm stop to such jokes soon enough).

 

They compete in singles, but their themes tend to go together in a way.

 

Yuuri can never decide which of them he idolizes more as the years pass and he's making his own way, inspired and wanting to somehow find his way to them.

 

They're always smiling, and even when they're not they're still so heart-breakingly lovely to look at. Days after turning fourteen, Yuuri finds an interview where they're sitting side by side, each with a leg crossed over the other and smiling congenially. The interviewer makes a comment about how inspired their parents must have been when they named them.

 

"Our parents were certainly clever," Victor replies, face still friendly.

 

"And it was a rather obvious choice, wasn't it?" Victoria adds with an effortless toss of her hair.

 

(it's the last time either of them mentions their parents until  _years_ later, when Victor hesitantly explains that their parents weren't attending his and Yuuri's wedding. Vika resists the urge to throw a mug at the wall later on when they tell her.)

 

Yuuri dreams of Victoria first, tossing and sighing in his sleep to the thought of her soft curves and rosy lips. Soon come dreams of Victor, and Yuuri has more than one reason to blush in the early mornings, so sure evidence of his nightly activities is plastered on his face for everyone to see.

 

It's a crush. On two people. And Yuuri doesn't do the best job of keeping it to himself. It's evident in the way he consumes everything having to do with Victor and Victoria, sighing and biting his lip as they skate like they were born on the ice itself, beautifully perfect.

 

(later he realizes that they'd been screaming on the inside for  _years_ )

 

Years later Yuuri startles Phichit when he's scrolling through social media and sees Victoria waving a bi-pride flag and Victor wearing a gay pride flag, their dog Makkachin between them, and Yuuri can't resist the exultant cheer he lets out.

 

A few months after that he stares in absolute shock at their dramatically shortened haircuts. Victoria's hair is in a short bob, but her bangs are swept in the same style as her brother's.

 

"It was time for a change," Victor explains, beaming for the media while Victoria makes a show of tossing her hair back and forth like she's a child with a new toy.

 

(later Yuuri will learn that Vika silently grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the length of her silver braid at the knob of her spine while Victor watched with a mixture of awe and horror)

 

Phichit sometimes grins at Yuuri's poster collection hanging around them. "Victoria Katsuki...Or Victor Katsuki. What do you think?"

 

He blushes but manages to reply, "I'm...I'm okay with hyphenating."

 

* * *

 

 

It's Victor who notices him first.

 

It's the worst time of his life and he just wants to escape and  _mourn_  Vicchan and forget he'd ever been so arrogant that he thought he could skate at the same level as Victor and Victoria. He felt so foolish for thinking that maybe Victoria would maybe swoon at the sight of him, or Victor might ask him to dinner, or...

 

Victor offers a photo. 

 

Yuuri walks away from it, feeling more than wretched. It was best to walk away before even Victoria showed up and looked past him like he was nothing.

 

He barely remembers the banquet, but does remember Victor in his dark blue suit and Victoria in her magenta dress, both of them beautiful and untouchable.

 

* * *

 

 

"Makka! You naughty boy! Get off of Yuuri!"

 

He blushes, having imagined his name in that voice too many times, and lays frozen on the ground as he stares up at Victoria Nikiforova as she tugs a massive poodle off of him, beaming down at him like he's an old friend she hasn't seen in years. "Yuuri! There you are! My brother's been waiting to see you!"

 

He.

 

What.

 

"...Y-your...broth..." His voice sounds pathetically thin but he forgets to feel embarrassed as he keeps staring at the utter goddess, silver hair wavy and messy as she stands over him in an onsen robe. 

 

 _Her brother_.

 

"My brother! Vitya! He just went into the hot springs-"

 

Later on he can't believe how he bolted away from her and into the hot spring to get an eyeful of her naked brother as he declared that he was going to be Yuuri's coach.

 

* * *

 

 

They sleep side by side next to the tables and Yuuri watches them, afraid that if he takes his eyes off of them they'll disappear.

 

Time off, apparently.

 

It's understandable. They're nearing retirement age and Victoria had already had one frightening knee injury a couple of years back. Their departure had been unexpected, of course, and skating fans would be disappointed to find their twin darlings missing the next season, but Yuuri still didn't know why Victor thought he was worth coaching when he'd failed so abysmally in Sochi.

 

They shovel their pork cutlet bowls into their mouths like they're racing, and Mari enters the room to find Victoria smirking at her defeated brother, rice and crumbs covering her face. 

 

Victoria turns to look at her and Yuuri watches her blush as she hurriedly wipes her face clean. 

 

"There was no leaving my baby sister behind," Victor explains, an arm thrown around her shoulders. "She's worked just as hard as I do."

 

(later Victor tells him it was also because he was afraid. afraid of being by himself. afraid of leaving her alone when he already  _knew_ what might happen, and he would never forgive himself if it was something he could prevent.)

 

He's never thought he'd see them so open and relaxed, sleepiness on their faces and hair totally disheveled. Even so they manage to hypnotize Yuuri. 

 

Yuuri accepts that this is what life has thrown at him, and gets back into shape in time for Yuri Plisetsky to come crashing in.

 

"How cute," Victoria coos. "The kitten came chasing after you, Vitya!"

 

Yuuri's mature enough not to rise to Yuri's barbs, but he's not in the same low point as when the little punk told him to retire. He's not going to let Yuri Plisetsky underestimate him again.

 

When Mari christens him "Yurio", Victoria sings her praises to the heavens, and Yuri calls her a raving witch while Victor laughs into his bowl.

 

* * *

 

 

 _Eros_ isn't easy to come by. 

 

Yuuri wanted to die as soon as the words were out of his mouth, and there was no denying that he'd just told both objects of his admiration that pork cutlet bowls were the way to tap into his understanding of  _Eros_.

 

They don't laugh, at least.

 

Yuri has a harder time with  _Agape_.

 

"It's unconditional, Yurio," Victor explains, eyes automatically flitting over to Victoria as she sits at the stands with Yuuri. "There must be someone in your life that you would do anything for. And maybe they'd do the same for you."

 

They pick their costumes and alterations are made. The twins are quick with needles, but Victor keeps watching Victoria and she looks almost self-conscious as she works. When they're done Yuuri notices that Victoria hands Victor the needle, both of them looking surprisingly anxious throughout the exchange.

 

(Victoria quietly rubs the many bracelets on her forearm a year later as they watch Victor lift a gleefully shrieking Mila into the air. she looks older as she does it. Yuuri once wondered how two people as close as Victor and Victoria could still feel so alone. now it isn't difficult to imagine.)

 

The twins are to remain in Hasetsu, and they drag Yuuri to a celebratory dinner where Victor lavishes attention on Yuuri while Victoria takes dozens of photos.

 

* * *

 

 

After his conversation with Victor on the beach, Victoria takes Yuuri aside and hugs him tightly.

 

Yuuri freezes, suddenly aching to sink into her warmth and softness. She smells like faded perfume, familiar at this point, and her hair is still a tousled mess. She draws away to look down at him, a sincere smile on her face. "Vitya told me what went on at the beach, and...You have no idea what it means to him to hear  _you_ say something like that. Thank you, Yuurichka."

 

He can't keep her gaze for long, terrified that she'll figure out that he'd spent a decade fantasizing about her and her brother (separately, of course). "It was nothing," he manages to say, still blushing at she holds his face in her hands.

 

"It was  _everything_ ," she breathes.

 

Victor drawing a thumb across his lips. Victor hinting that he'd be anything Yuuri wanted him to be. Victoria gazing at him like he was a miracle worker. Just what was he to them?

 

"I have a favor to ask, Yuuri," she suddenly says.

 

"What is it?" he responds, realizing too late just how eager he sounded.

 

He watches her blush and bite her lip before she blurts out, "How do I get your sister to notice me?"

 

("She actually asked that?" Mari asks in Barcelona after the final. she turns and gives Vika a small grin. "That's so cute.")

 

* * *

 

 

"Do you think Yakov's still mad we left?" Yuuri hears Victor ask Victoria in a carrying whisper as they made their way to dinner.

 

She looks at him with utter exasperation. "You  _have_ met Yakov Feltsman, right?"

 

The next day he sees the candid photo Phichit took of a plastered and naked Victor pressed against a surprised and blushing Yuuri. Victoria laughs at it for hours while Victor smiles and goes on as if nothing were amiss.

 

There's no laughter or smiles when Yuuri's in the middle of an anxiety attack in the parking garage and he finally learns just how  _humanly imperfect_  Victor is.

 

It's a little heartbreaking at first.

 

Then it's a total revelation, a relief, a catharsis that finally lets him not only do his best, but go beyond it, and unleashing the talent he and the twins know he has. He feels foolish for feeling that brief instant of heartbreak, glad that Victor was no longer out of his reach.

 

Of course then he felt inevitable irritation at his coach for his blunder.

 

And then Victor flies towards him, hand shielding his head as they hit the ice after a kiss that doesn't last  _nearly_ long enough. He wants more, seeing the utter pleasure in Victor's eyes and feeling his own high at the knowledge that he'd surprised his idol. His Victor.

 

Victoria won't stop screaming about it, near tears as she presses replay on every angle of the kiss. (but not before giving Victor a private earful after learning about his stunt in the parking garage)

 

* * *

 

 

Victoria and Mari text and talk whenever they can.

 

("Honestly, Vika," Victor moans. "At the rate you're going you'll be married first and Yuuri and I will be in-laws!")

 

She wears giddy smiles, not the masks of dignity Yuuri had grown used to seeing on them over the years. He realizes that all that time they really were masks to hide Victor's increasing depression and Victoria's anxiety, closing them away from a world that demanded more out of them and their tired bodies.

 

He thinks back to the conversation at the beach and realizes why Victoria thanked him.

 

He realizes why they were always inseparable in their own private world, shutting out the rest of the greedy world. 

 

He realizes why they treated Makkachin like a child, a baby sibling, the only other living and breathing being in their lonely world who loved them unconditionally.

 

So when Mari calls, the world seems to shatter around them. Yuuri remembers that he was called far too late, still pained over never saying goodbye to Vicchan. 

 

He has to let them go.

 

"Vitya's your coach, Yuuri! He can't just leave you now!" Victoria insists, tears flooding her eyes.

 

"You  _need_ to be with Makkachin!" Yuuri says, begging them to understand.

 

In the end Yakov agrees to stand in for Victor, but even then he and Victoria are hesitant to leave, Yuuri guessing that they're having a silent battle over which of them would stay with him.

 

They must see something in his eyes that tells them to leave before they change their minds. They clasp each other's hands tightly, like children hanging on to balloon strings.

 

Victor and Makkachin meet him at the airport, Victoria staying in Hasetsu to rest (later she'll explain that after they brought Makkachin home she hid in her room and had a long, hard, and exhausting cry that she didn't even let Victor know about until after Yuuri's performance).

 

* * *

 

 

Phichit spies the rings first but Victoria dissolves into messy tears of joy. Victor stares at her in amazement. Apparently, up until now, all her crying had been done in private. Mari awkwardly pats her back, her eyes dancing as she looks at Yuuri inquiringly. 

 

And then everyone starts talking about the Sochi banquet.

 

Victor looks like someone ran him over with a truck.

 

Yuuri wishes a truck would run him over.

 

He'd break danced, stumbled about in a drunken haze, danced with Victor, stripped to his boxers, and pole danced with Christophe  _and_ Victoria, apparently getting very familiar with her pink lace bra and panties after Christophe pleaded exhaustion. Nothing had happened, not even a kiss, but Yuuri still wishes for death's sweet embrace as he scrolls through everyone's photos and videos from that night. 

 

Victoria and Mari are cackling, the silver-haired woman still wiping tears of mirth from her eyes as she breathlessly exclaimed, "We flew...all the way to Japan so Vitya could coach Yuuri... _and Yuuri doesn't even remember that he was the one who ASKED HIM TO GO!"_  

 

"It's not funny, Vika!" Victor cries, chasing his hooting sister. Yuuri stays where he is, suddenly needing to re-evaluate everything he thought was true.

 

"I guess we have you to thank for all this, little brother," Mari says as she stays next to him, bemusedly watching the other pair of siblings hurl playful insults at each other.

 

(it wasn't just a call. it was a literal call and the twins had answered it, saving themselves and Yuuri from their lowest points)

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri figures it out in the end.

 

They all do.

 

Victor's choices are his own, and Yuuri knows that one day he might have regretted settling for just one remarkable year. 

 

Yuuri wants more, and Victor was determined to have it all, even if it meant asking Victoria for help every now and then as he coached Yuuri while competing. 

 

It would be a temporary separation, just so they'd go to their respective competitions and get ready for the changes of the next few months. 

 

(she competes again and commits to therapy, and Victor will follow her lead months later)

 

Victoria plans to move, but just across the hall from her brother. "Baby steps," she and Victor say simultaneously as they hug each other tightly. Mari doesn't worry about the distance as much as Victoria does, and Yuuri doesn't know how she reassures the silver-haired woman.

 

 

He'd really rather not think about it, but fate likes to toy with him a little.

 

Toshiya mentions Mari is late one morning, and it's such an anomaly that Yuuri goes to check on her himself. 

 

She slides her door open a few inches and Yuuri frowns in confusion, taking in her extremely disheveled hair and the dark blush spreading across her face. "I know! I know I'm late," she hisses. "Give me a few-"

 

He hears a familiar female voice call from within, "Marishka! Come back to bed,  _detka_!"

 

Yuuri's mouth falls open and his face heats up to a ridiculous temperature when he realizes  _who_ is in there and  _what_ had been going on...

 

He puts the brakes on that line of thought. Especially when Mari's looking at him with red-faced horror and embarrassment before she hurriedly clears her throat and hisses again, "You heard  _nothing_." Then she slams the door shut.

 

Yuuri's chanting  _oh my god oh my god **oh my god**_ in his mind, too embarrassed to laugh the way he kind of wanted to. 

 

He must look shell-shocked for a long while because he and Victor are five minutes into their walk when he feels the man's discerning gaze on him. "Anything wrong, Yuuri?" he asks before raising his water bottle to his lips.

 

Blinking twice, Yuuri flatly replies, "...Our sisters spent the night together."

 

Victor's eyes go wide and he spits his water out, coughing roughly while Yuuri's brain freezes in the midst of processing everything.

 

Moments later when they're both sufficiently recovered, Victor hugs Yuuri from behind and whispers in his ear, "Just the other day she told me Mari's the best thing that's ever happened to her." He nuzzles into Yuuri's hair and squeezes him tighter. "And I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

 

Hearing it makes his heart beat faster, and he relaxes into Victor's arms.

**Author's Note:**

>  **mari** : *walks into room*  
>  **vika** : *is gay*
> 
> she's also the ugly crier of the nikiforovs
> 
> comment please!!
> 
> my tumblr: **aeriamamaduck**


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